Megan Fox es la tarada de la semana

Bien, la votación ha sido cerrada (gracias por sus votos) y la ganadora del prestigiado título de la Tarada de la semana es Megan Fox gracias a sus estúpidas declaraciones acerca de que Britney la protege. Estoy seguro que Megan estará feliz por ganar por primera vez un título por su idiotez y no por su físico. Mientras tanto Piru Hilton, Amy Winehouse y Lily Allen quedaron en segundo, tercero y cuarto lugar, respectivamente. Es una lástima, realmente esperaba que Piru fuera la vencedora esta semana, espero que en alguna votación próxima (porque tengan por seguro que estará nominada muchas veces más) sea la indiscutible ganadora.

Dr. Pistoph: Misbehavin’ Morons

I am convinced that our country would be a much better place if parents were to start spanking their kids again. Unfortunately kids are no longer afraid of their parents and as a result they grow up to be just plain rotten. There is a plethora of examples where young adults are misbehaving and might be acting differently if they’d been administered a daily beating while they were growing up.

Recent moronic moments include that of Kanye West who grabbed the microphone from Taylor Swift while she was being honored at the Video Music Awards. Some say he had been drinking prior to the event. Who cares what might have caused his lapse in judgment? He should get 15 lashes. Then there was tennis star Serena Williams who had a few choice words (mainly f-bombs) for a line judge at the U.S. Open. What a great role model for our children. She needs to be bent over her mother’s knee for ten good whacks with a wooden paddle.

Here are a few more. Singer Janet Jackson and her famous Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction; New York Giants football player Plaxico Burress carried a weapon into a nightclub and accidentally shot himself; Britney Spears – well, everything she does; Kiefer Sutherland was drunk in public; Dallas Cowboys Terrell Owens showed unbelievably self-centered play on the field; entertainer Chris Brown was found guilty of domestic violence against singer Rihanna; Amy Winehouse was a habitual user of drugs and alcohol; actress Tori Spelling refused to stop cursing in front of her kids; actress Paris Hilton made a pornographic video – I could go on forever.  

There’s no excuse for this level of narcissism and disrespect. Besides a lack of discipline by the parents of these whackjobs there is another reason that we are subjected to such boorish behavior. There are enablers among us. And you know who you are. After Kanye West’s crass display he appeared as regularly scheduled on the Jay Leno program. Leno should have cancelled his appearance. Instead he chose to chase the ratings. For that, Jay should be whipped with my dad’s belt on his bare legs. Fifty times should do it.

10 best celebrity engagement rings

In case you haven’t noticed yet, celebrities have the best engagement rings (I guess all that money has something to do with it). Check out our list of our favorite celebrity rings:

Katherine Heigl
The Grey’s Anatomy star has a unique pear-shaped stone surrounded by pave diamonds.

Jennifer Hudson
The Oscar-nominated singer/actress is known for her large voice, but she is also known for her large engagement ring. Her Neil Lane ring has a 5 carat center stone.

Princess Diana
Lady Diana revolutionized the sapphire engagement ring nearly a decade before it became trendy.

Jennifer Aniston
Brad Pitt teamed up with Damiani Jewelry to create this unique, swirly design.

Courtney Cox
This ring, which has two center stones instead of one, has a unique “figure 8″ design.

Carmen Electra
The former model caused a little bit of jewelry controversy with this unconventional black diamond engagement ring.

Paris Hilton
Although her engagement to Paris Latsis did not last, she did get to walk away with this huge 15 carat rock.

Mariah Carey
Nick Cannon proposed to the singer with this unique pink gold engagement ring. The ring is a unique design that only Mariah owns.

Jennifer Lopez
Her $6 million 6.1 carat rock given to her by then fiance Ben Affleck revolutionized pink diamond engagement rings.

Kara Dioguardi
The American Idol judge went with a champagne citrone stone instead of a diamond.

Love,
Engagement 101

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If There Was a Video Game Version of Sucking Balls, it Would Be Called Halo.

About a million years ago I played Halo on the PC. It was one of the hugest pieces of shit of all time. It was repetitive, boring, had lame guns, had an idiotic story, and was about as generic as FPS games can get. I hated it so much that I refused to play Halo 2 or 3, despite the fact that fanboys around the world heralded them as the best things since sliced bread. Which is really saying a lot, since sliced bread is the best thing since sliced bread.

A few months back, three other friends and I got together and it was decided that we should play Halo 3 online. My friend has an Xbox 360 and a huge HD TV, and I was drunk, so I figured, “Sure, why the fuck not?” We played, and it was incredible. It was one of the most fun multiplayer experiences of my videogaming life. Don’t get me wrong, it was no Goldeneye 64, but it was a pretty solid experience nonetheless.

So, after months of playing Halo 3 online with my friends, I decided I would go back in time and play through the single player campaign of Halo 2, with the intent of then moving on to part three. After all, online play was so much fun that the developers must have fixed their mistakes from the previous games, right?

That was a huge mistake.

I found myself right back where I was a million years ago when I played through the first Halo. It royally sucked ass, and here are the reasons why:

1. I played as a nameless, faceless, super strong and skilled space marine (a la Doom). The typical Halo fanboy says, “Ohhh, Master Chief is so unique and awesome, he is uber leet!!!” *cums in pants* Unfortunately, anyone who thinks Master Chief is anything but a generic genre trope is a fucking idiot.
2. I was fighting hordes of generic, not to mention comically bad, aliens. I mean, are they supposed to be funny? Shouldn’t the villains make you a little bit nervous/excited/whatever? No, apparantely not. And don’t get me started on The Flood either. They are just as boring.
3. The guns are weak and terrible. All the alien guns are huge pieces of shit. For example, the Brute Shot is this grenade launcher weapon that usually takes about six shots to kill something. Six grenades to kill something?! Are you fucking kidding me? I might as well throw diarrhea at the enemies, that would be just as powerful.
4. The story was ZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZ *wakes up* “Huh? What? Oh, that’s the same thing as the first game.” ZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZ
5. The levels are so fucking long. I mean Jesus Fucking TapDancing AssRaping Christ, they go on and on and on and on and on and on and on. I think the first level alone takes over an hour to play.
6. It’s repetitive as fuck. Just like the problem with The Dark Knight, the developers thought that the old saying “less is more” doesn’t apply to them. By making all the levels as long and repetitive as possible, they would be sure to have a hit game on their hands. And, well, they were right. It is a hit game. Their strategy worked, just like it did for The Dark Knight. The only problem here is that people are idiots, and they like shit that is terrible. Which is why both Halo and The Dark Knight got such great reviews. Really, this is the thing I hate most about the single player version of all the Halo games. It is just hallway after gray concrete hallway of enemies standing around for you to kill them. It goes on forever with little to no variation. Sure, you get to drive a car once in  a while, but those moments come to few and far between to make this game worthwhile.

In a perfect world where people like things that are actually good, Halo would be remembered as nothing more than a footnote amongst all the other vapid, generic first person shooters. Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world. The world we live in is the same world where Twin Peaks got canceled, Paris Hilton is famous, people argue about whether Macs or PCs are better, and shitty video games are incredibly popular.

I suppose that multiplayer is the reason for Halo’s longevity. Because there is no fucking way that it is due to the single player. The developers must spend all their time making the online version fun (which is a hell of a lot of fun – just as long as you don’t get the fucking Brute Shot or any of those piece of shit guns that you have to charge up), and then the single player is just a stinky, bloody, disgusting afterbirth. That’s the only possible explanation for why it is so fucking bad.

This has nothing to do with Halo, that's why it rules.

Before you start flaming me about the content of this post, you really need to ask yourself, “Does the Halo single-player game have any redeeming qualities whatsoever?” If your answer is “yes,” then you should probably kill yourself. Or if you aren’t willing to do that, at least go play something good, like checkers or Scrabble. Those are games that will really give you an adrenaline rush, man.

Verdicts:

Doom: Awesome

Goldeneye 64: Awesome

Evil Dead Ash/Jesus: Awesome

Halo: Shitty

Paris Hilton prepara su segundo disco

Uno sabe que el apocalipsis está cerca cuando una persona como Piru Hilton está dispuesta a someter al mundo al sufrimiento incontenible al atreverse a sacar un nuevo disco. Sí, al parecer un pedazo de estiércol en forma de CD no le fue suficiente a esta fulana porque según algunos reportes, desde hace un tiempo ya tiene grabado su segundo disco y ahora está buscando disquera para que lo saque, porque debido a que el anterior vendió muy poco, su compañía de ese tiempo (Warner) le metió una patada en el trasero y la corrió.

Me imagino que a consecuencia de la búsqueda de una nueva empresa que esté dispuesta a tirar su dinero en ella, con todas las juntas que ha tenido con ejecutivos, Piru ya no se quita las rodilleras, tiene la lengua llena de llagas y ya le es imposible sentarse. Y cuando alguien le preguntó hace tiempo de qué estilo era ese vómito auditivo, Piru dijo que era parecido a las canciones de Kylie Minogue. En una nota relacionada, Kylie Minogue fue vista de camino a Hollywood, con una navaja en la mano.

Fuente

Red Carpet Worthy--

I am a firm believer of having one outfit that is red carpet worthy, granted I don’t have that outfit yet… but it’s on the “List”.  Some people have vision boards or dream boards.  I have a vision book, a lil scrapbook with filled with some quotes and pictures of where I know I will be.  Amazingly enough– many things have come true– as I knew they would.

Had you met me before the fire, you would hardly recognize me now.  This has nothing to do with physical scars, it has nothing to do with a few extra lbs, or the fact that my hair is a tad longer and I like to change the color often. 

I am much more empowered now, I have a vision and I know where I want to go and who I want to be.  I know that I will make a difference, because that’s what the lil voice in my head tells me now.  

We should all be red carpet worthy… does that mean that I want to be a celebrity… not exactly.  I just want to help change a few lives… make a lil bit of a difference… make tomorrow a better day!  am stuck with the phrase “tomorrow will thank you”, so that’s my working title. 

Tomorrow Will Thank You!

Action Step: Be Red Carpet Worthy!!! What would you wear? What would the journalists be asking you? Would you run from the photographers or pull a Madonna Vogue or Paris Hilton?  I don’t know about you… but Paris does know how to pose (I would so hire her modeling coach), and I’d let the spotlight shine Baby!! Scars and All — Here I am— Read My Book– 

That’s me on the Red Carpet — now I’m off to search for the outfit I want… I’ll insert that later

Linea Pelle Wants You To Live Like an A-Lister

Accessories designer Linea Pelle wants you to feel & look like a celebrity this Fall which is why they are hosting the LP ‘Be a Celebrity’ Match Game.

Head to LPCollection.com to play the game and give your hand a chance at winning a daily prize of hot accessory items like bracelets or belts and also be entered for a chance to win $3,000!

No purchase is necessary so you’ve got nothing to lose! Plus, Linea Pelle is sported by celebs like Lauren Conrad, Jessica Simpson, Rihanna and Megan Fox so if you win, you’ll be amidst good company, we’d say!