That’s it! I’ve had enough! I’m throwing in the towel. I have been out numbered, and it is only getting worse. The English language is changing very fast, and we owe it all to online chatting, texting, and spell check.
Our language has drastically changed in the last 10 years, and my fear is that the children of the future will actually say lol as opposed to actually laughing. What the hell am I saying?! That day has already come. I overheard 2 girls talking at a record shop a while back, probably while they were looking for the Paris Hilton album, and one of them said lmao as if it were a word! Lam-eh-oh. I thought to myself “Is she afraid that her ass might actually fall off if she does laugh as intensely as her pronounced acronym states? No, that can’t be it. It is apparent that she simply is more comfortable talking to her friends through a computer. How sad indeed.”
I don’t have a problem with texting, for I have now gone to the dark side and have become a texter myself. That has a little to do with everyone else, and a lot to do with my phone plan. I thought that I could still be a phone caller, but half of the time I return a text with a call I feel as though I catch the other person off guard. It’s almost at the point where your phone will only allow you to return a text with a text, or simply charge you extra if you break the “text code”. (Text code= when somebody texts you, you must return it with a text.)
OK, added charges are a bit over exaggerated, but do you see my point? Not yet? Almost? OK, check this out:
I’m a very sarcastic person, and maybe this has added to my slight hatred of texting. SARCASM IS NOT TEXT FRIENDLY! Often it just seems as though I’m being offensive, so I have quit my sarcastic texting, or when I do I add an lol to it, but that too seems wrong; for I never really am laughing out loud when I text lol. Just imagine being in an elevator with somebody who just texted lmao and actually was laughing his ass off. Or if you were on the bus and somebody was having a laughing fit because of a text they received. It would be a little bit strange to say the least, but at least they would be being true to the person on the other side of the text.
Finally we have spell check. Oh how I love and hate thee. What’s up with the auto spell check? What a sneaky bastard that thing is! It’s almost as though my computer feels sorry for me and tries to fix my mistakes without me noticing. If I spell something wrong, I want to know about it! And no definitely and defiantly are not the same words! I remember I misspelled definitely once and during my spell check I changed all to defiantly by mistake because I had just glanced at it quickly without noticing. “I am defiantly interested in working with you.” Job search=fail.
The picture that I’m painting for you should look like something like this:
1) Texting in general makes us sloppy writers
2) Texting sarcasm doesn’t work
3) Lol gets thrown around far too often.
4) If you say lam-eh-oh (lmao) to my face we are not meant to be friends.
5) Spell check can make me feel like the smartest and dumbest person on the planet.
I am not trying to make you quit texting (impossible) for there is no real big reason for you to quit. If somebody said to me “You pissed on my shoe when you were drunk last night.” I’d probably quit drinking, for there is obviously many reasons to do so. By continuing to text rest assured you will not piss on anybody’s shoe, you just might piss me off, and I think we can live with that.
http://twitter.com/kevinmattice
coldasmattice@gmail.com
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